From darkness to light - how needles and bruises lead to creating a clean brand....

I'm often asked what inspired me to start my own brand, and I usually just keep it short and sweet and say my kids. Why don't I dive into more detail? Time constraints on the conversation or am I just securing old memories tucked away because they weren't the happiest of times? As an optimist, I tend to refrain from the negative but sometimes it can be used for good...... such as inspiring others or motivation to start something new or promote change.

You see my kids inspired my brand because of my momma bear side that wants to protect them from experiencing the pain and agony I went through. Infertility is a lonely and daunting experience...... it breaks you down emotionally and financially, it belittles you, makes you question your faith, hopes and dreams go from high to extremely low every single month, and you constantly blame yourself while feeling envious and annoyed with others around you. It's an emotional roller coaster to say the least. 1 in 8 couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. (2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth, CDC). You would think with so many now suffering from infertility that the experience wouldn't be so lonely..... you sit in the same waiting room day after day with the same people on the same cycles, but most the time you avoid eye contact and conversation partially because you feel like a failure, partially because you don't want to feel jealous when it works for them and not you, and partially because you still haven't grasped the reality of what's happening and why. 

See while my colleagues at the time were skipping off to coffee breaks and happy hours, I was trying to go alone and unnoticed for bathroom breaks..... you know when you wait until you know there is no one in there and get stressed when someone walks in so you stand on top of the toilet. Why was I doing that? Well women don't typically like to inform their employers ahead of time that they are trying to get pregnant; no need for explanation there, but for me I didn't want someone to see me injecting myself with needles. It's bad enough I had to tote it around in my purse like a concierge doctor...... and there's nothing worse then being stressed about messing up mixing the injection on top of that little silver trash receptacle in the stall causing you to have to throw away that $100 vile and start over. I can miss happy hour or a conference call, but if I miss this injection and that blood test comes back negative again I'll continue to blame myself and drain out our bank accounts while clinging to every last hope. Meanwhile I'll head back to my office chair, trying to find a comfortable way to sit that's not painful while hiding the fact that my abdomen and tushie are covered in bumps and bruises from all the meds. 

Sound like fun memories? No, but I am extremely blessed and grateful for the three amazing kids I do have now. They are technically triplets based on conception but a few years apart in age. The science is fascinating and maddening at the same time. It was during these dark days that I started doing ALOT of reading.... digging..... looking for answers in the fog of pain, heartbreak, and loneliness. It was then that I started to learn about endocrine disruptors. Needless to say I now avoid those potentially harmful chemicals like the plague, especially for my children. Why you ask? Because if I can protect them from experiencing these same struggles and painful memories by simply avoiding some questionable ingredients....... DONE - sign me up! They are lurking everywhere in everyday products...... manufacturers are starting to clean some of them up as more science is coming out; but until then, my momma bear claws are still out and reading labels.

So there's my backstory...... my kids influenced my brand (as did some painful tucked away memories).